Under reincarnation, learning how to love yourself is definitely a very important task of life. 

But what I found strange was that whenever I told people to love themselves more, their first reaction was that they should go for a SPA, buy something they usually wouldn't buy, go for a great meal, or travel around the world etc. 

I didn't say that doing everything above was wrong, but the intention of doing so was definitely not correct.  

Does it have to be so "materialistic" when it come to loving yourself?

Our society was impacted by materials so much that our happiness was often depended on the material.  Therefore, we forget how to love ourself without any materials. 

When I suggested you to love yourself, it should be in the condition that no material is involved. If so, how will you treat yourself then?

how will you deal with yourself, communicate with yourself? with what kind of attitute? or how will you handle everything that happen to you?

Imagine your inner self and outter self were a couples, how do you treat yourself?

Would you call yourself stupid? would you call yourself ugly? would you call yourself lazy? Or would you tell yourself that nobody love you?

How you treat yourself is exactly how you subconsciously expect your love one in real life to treat you. 

So whenever you start complaining your love one don't know how to love you, please spend sometime to think if you loved yourself first. 

 

It is really not difficult to love yourself, but our enviroment and education had confused our direction of doing so. 

and that's why the contentment from SPA wouldn't last a day or two. We continuously want to shop, eat, in order to fulfil the hole in our heart that can never be filled.  Eventually, "Loving ourself" had become a expensive, extravagant, and make you feel even more guilty behaviour.

In fact, when I suggested you to love youself, I simply wish you can listen to your inner voice, learn to respect yourself, encourage yourself and praise yourself.  Whenever you fall, you will pad on your own should and said "It's okay.  This is only the path to success.  as long as you keep going, you will eventually see the rainbow in the other side."

People who love themselves will not over eat, because they had learned to listen to their own body, and choose the food that work for them the most.  They will know when to start and stop. 

People who love themselves will never hurt their own body, nor allow anyone to hurt their body.  Because they respect themself, and know how to protect themself. 

People who love themselves will not allow themselve to stay in self-pity dark hole for too long, because that's not the way they will treat their love ones.  They will encourage themself to stand up and be strong for those they care. 

People who love themselves will not stress out themselves, they will learn to balance their body and mind in order to reach their best. 

People who love themselves will spend time to look for the goal of their life, and encourage themselves to walk toward their dream. 

People who love themselves will know how to praise themselves and will never be cheap to comfort themselves rather then belittle themselves. 

In conclusion, if you really loved yourself, you will not need any "material" to assist you. 

"I don't take that crap!"  People who said those phrase might make you feel that they are indifferent, cold or arrogant.  But that is exactly the attitute you should have when you love yourself. 

You will not allow anyone to throw any crap on you, nor to be little your value, you will not torture your own body, nor allow anyone to.  You will not take too much junk food, nor allow your body to be unhealthy.  Whenever you caught yourself going back to that self pity dark hole, you will remember to pull yourself up.  Whenever you feel hurt, you will know how to comfort yourself and make yourself strong. 

Because YOU are the only one who can define your own self value.  

If so, if you do not learn to love yourself, who will?

A person who really learn to love themself will eventually know how to respect others.  Because they will understand others also have the right to love themselves. Especially after we have devote so much in the process of loving ourself, we will also understand others will devote equivelant time and energy in process of loving themselves. We will respect their choice and learn to treat them like an individual. 

And the most importantly, A person who know how to love themselve will make others clearly know how to love them. 

so, please spend sometime to think about this when you have time: Do you love yourself?

Or you rather stay in your self pity dark hole and wait for others to rescue you, and eventually accumulate more and more "bad habbits" and reincarnate with exactly same task all over again?

 

I wish you all a greater and brighter new year, start with loving yourself. 

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Ruowen Huang

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