Ruowen Huang

A friend called me awhile ago, telling me that her 24 year old cousin died by car accident.

For some reason, I understand her grief, but had hard time feeling sad as she did.

If it was years ago, death may create some kind of emotion in my life,

But I didn't seem to feel much these days.  Not knowing if it's because I have seen too much of it or what...

Feeling my pause, she asked again: why?  She is only 24?  Life is hardly getting started!  Why are they taking her life?

I:Because she has complete her mission.

She: How could it be? How could she possibly finish her task of life at 24?

I: I didn't said that she finish her task of life.  I said... She has completed her mission.

She: What mission?  Her mission is to make those who care about her so sad?

I: No.  Her mission is to make your aunty understand that the real connection is not depend on how close they are to us, nor how they express themselves.

She paused a bit, seems to agree with what I said: But everyone leaves her (aunt), Her parents, sibling, husband and now her daugther...

I: that's a task she has chosen for herself.  But not one time she has chosen to deal with it.   she still doesn't understand that loving someone doesn't mean that you have to trap them around you, nor how they should act to show that they love you.

She paused a bit, and asked: ...so, how about my cousin?

I followed her thought to track where her cousin was and said: She just realized she is death.  still kind of shocked... But don't worry, it seems like someone is already waiting to lead her to the next level. It may take a day or 2, then she will understand what her task of life was...

She:so...When will she see those spirit who have came to help her?

I: when she is ready.  Base on her status right now, I will say about 2 days or so...

She:...Did she suffer? (when she died.)

I: It hurt, but only for a short time.

She: I should bless her, right?  Because she has complete what she was born for?

I am sure I must have repeated this sentence quite often that most of my friends understand this now...

I: Your grief will make her hesitate to stay and cannot let go of her old identity.  But your blessing will help her spirit elevate into next level faster.

She: Well...if you have a cousin who die so young like she did, then you will understand how hard it is to let go...

I: I did.  My closiest cousin died when he was 16.

and, she didn't make any furter comments.

昨天,朋友打電話給我,超級沈重的口氣.

光聽口氣就知道她鐵定有什麼重大事件才會想到打電話給我.

要不,不太會選擇這種吃飯的時間打來. (全世界只有我姊專挑吃飯時間打電話來.)

她說:她24歲的表妹昨天過世了,車禍死亡.

我知道她失去家人很難過,但是,我卻沒有辦法跟她一樣有任何的悲慟.

以前,生離死別這四個字,也會在我的生活裏產生不少的情緒起伏.

但是,不知道是不是因為自己知道得太多,反而就不知道該怎麼反應了?

她看我沒有什麼反應之後又問:為什麼? 為什麼她才24歲,未來都還沒有開始,就要這樣奪走她的生命?

(當靈媒的壞處就是...當壞事發生的時候,我們成了人類發洩對高等靈魂怨恨的替死鬼!)

我:因為...她己經完成她這世的使命.

她:可是,為什麼?怎麼可能24歲就完成了她的功課?

我:我沒有說她是來完成她的功課,我說...她完成了她的使命了.

她:什麼使命?她的使命就是讓家人這麼傷心難過嗎?

我:不是.她來到這世的使命,是讓你阿姨去體驗,真正的情感不是決定在他們該怎麼表達,離自己多近...

她聽了之後楞了一會,好幾分鐘之後才又接口:我阿姨真的是那種不太會放手的人. 可是,她這一輩子老是失去她愛的人,像是她的父母,兄弟姊妹,老公, 現在又女兒....

我:那是她選擇而來的課題! 可是,沒有一次她願意好好去面對... 她活了這麼久,還是學不會愛一個人,不需要把他們死死地鎖在身邊,不能指望他們以自己的方式表達愛...

她沈默了好半响,似乎也認同這是她阿姨的功課. (雖然,我從來沒有見過或聽過她的阿姨,但很顯然地,一語道中她阿姨的個性.)

許久,她又問:那我表妹呢?

我尋著她的思緒找到她的表妹說:她剛剛才發現自己死了, 還在震驚當中...不過,她身邊己經有人等著引導她了,大概最多等個2天,她就會理解自己這世的課題了.

她:那她什麼時候才會看到這些準備來幫她的靈魂?

我:等她準備好的時候.不過...看她這個樣子,大概還要兩天吧.

她:她死亡的時候很痛苦嗎?

這答案,我從她身旁守護的靈魂得到答案:還好...會痛.但結束得也很快.

她:我該祝福她,對不對?因為她完成了她的功課? (不知道,這是不是也是一句我常講的話?)

我:嗯. 悲慟會讓她有所掛念而捨不得離開. 但祝福,會讓她早點領悟自己的課題,昇華到下一個境界.

她:如果你有個表妹也在這麼年輕的時候離開,那麼,你就會知道我現在要學會放手是件多麼困難的事...

我:我有...我挺要好的表弟在16歲的時候被水淹死.

當下,她沒有再接口.

Lots of people believe when talking to me that I have never experience what they have experienced, and will never understand their pain.

but what sarcastic is...

I have experience them, and that's how I was able to speak them in confidence.

I am just not someone who allow myself to live in sorrow,

Nor someone who talk about the bad things that happened to me, so I look like a total victim.

I will rather spend more time to observe and understand what I was suppose to learned from it...

Because it's my task that I will need to figure out for myself, I will never learn it through other's sympathy.

so eventually, I will not talk about what kind of past did I have...

很多人在跟我對話的時候,總是會為了強調他們的悲慟,而說我"從來沒有經歷過這樣的事,所以永遠不能體會他們的痛".

諷刺的是...

我真的都有體驗過,才有辦法以這麼肯定地口氣面對你們的悲慟.

我不是那種會允許自己一直活在悲傷裏的人, 更不是那種會不斷宣揚,讓自己看起來像個十足十的受害者的人.

我花了很多時間去觀察,及理解我該從中學習的功課到底是什麼, 因為我的功課必需自己去理解出來,不是透過別人的同情就學得會的.

所以自然而然地,我也不會去跟別人提起自己有什麼樣的過去.

The year when my cousin passed away, I has continueously complaint to god that how could they take his life away when he was only 16.

But...whenever I saw the expression on my cousin ( I have seen ghost all my life.), I have never seen his grief nor sorrow for dying so young.

I think, he always undertand more clearly than me why he died at the age of 16.

(Afterward, I start to realize that his death has created different growth between my aunty and her other son...)

在表弟剛去世的那年,我也是不斷地在責怪菩薩怎麼那麼慘忍,斷然地結束一個還來不及享受青春的16歲青少年的生命.

但是,每每看到表弟的時候,(我是個從小就看得到鬼的人)卻怎麼也從他的臉上看不見任何責怪與怨恨.

我想,他比我還清楚地知道,自己為什麼會選擇在16歲的時候離開...

(雖然,在那之後,我也慢慢地體驗到,他的離去所要傳送的使命,是阿姨與另一個表弟該去面對的功課. 因為他的死亡所引發的,是不一樣的成長...)

I have seen lot of spirits in my past years,

Seeing them going from shocked, helpless to evelvating spirit.

I start to realize that there is a purpose of life for every single one of us choosing to be born in this world and when to leave this world.

Because the elevation of spirit depends on how much you understand your purpose of life.

I also understand that... the death that we care so much really mean nothing when we are in the spiritual forms.

In spirits, there's no good or bad, right or wrong, the period of life represent the beginning and the end of the lesson.

The energy of the spirit is everlasting. (At least, that's what I thought it is now.)

We have come to this form to learn and grow our spiritual elevation.

Our body is like the tool that mark our scores.

During the process of our spiritual learning, our body will be able to judge it with our emotions and feelings.

Once lesson is completed, the body we use to mark our lesson will also lost it's function.

For lots of people, Death means the end,

But in the field of spirit, death is just another beginning of the lesson.

之後,陸陸續續地接觸了很多的靈魂,更別提在路邊看了很可憐,覺得他們搞不清楚狀況,所以會順便載回家的冤魂...

在看著他們從震驚,無助,到理解,昇華的過程裏,

我開始發現,我們每一個人來到這個世界上, 真的都是有功課要做的.

因為死亡後所得到的昇華,總是決定在你對於自己靈魂體驗的認知.

這也才發現, 原來我們一直梗梗與懷的生離死別, 在靈魂的境界裏,並沒有好與壞,對與錯, 反而像是課程的開始與結束.

靈魂的能量是永生的. (至少,這是我到目前為此的認知) 透過人的軀殼,我們學到的是心靈上的提昇.

身體就像個學習的工具, 透過心靈的學習,我們的身體可以體驗到評分的喜怒哀樂.

一旦課程結束,那這個叫做身體的評分器,自然也失去了它的效用.

對人來說,死亡或許是個結束,

但是,在靈魂的境界裏,死亡只是另一個課程的開始...

So... Don't ask me why they are taking their life from you...(for whatever reason it is.)

the point it...

No one take their life away.

It is something they already know when they were born.

Because I am quite certain those higher spirit will answer to you just like me would...

they have complete their task of life, and that's why they has chosen to leave.

so...

Instead of choosing to live in the sorrow of losing them, your blessing will help them elevate into next level faster.

所以,不要以責備的口氣質問我,為什麼他們要帶走他的生命?

重點是,沒人帶走他的生命. 那是他來投胎之前就知道會發生的事!

因為,我很確定那些高等靈魂們的答案會和我一樣...

他們己經完成了他們的功課!

與其選擇難過,祝福更能讓他們提早進入另一個境界...